Monday, May 26, 2008

Rainbow After The Rain

There are more than one moment to capture in life...
The best moment is happiness that brings laughter and tears of joy...
The moments to be captured are usually precious...but, moments that are captured usually tells a story that needs to be unfold...

"Life was finally going to be better for us," I thought right before I graduated from college a year ago - May 2008.

I made my parents take off from work and watch me complete the first chapter of my life. I was going to be able to help out my parents financially so they can finally take a vacation that they deserve.

However, regretful to say, my father passed away from cancer 11/15/08. Cancer is a serious illness that catches you by surprise. If it's not detected early enough, it can kill you in 2 months after it's been discovered.

The pain of losing someone you love doesn't go away! Comfort words from family and friends doesn't help at all. I am in depression and I know it. I know no one can help me, but myself. Though words like "he wants you to be happy, he left this world not wanting you to be sad," just doesn't help settle my pain.

I miss my father everyday and though I know he is proud of my accomplishments, I am upset that I never got to repay him or spend as much time as I would like with him.

I am not a smart person, but I work hard. Both my parents work hard to keep us sheltered and alive. On an average basics, I probably get to see my dad 8 times a year (in 365/Days). I went to school at State College, Penn State and he worked in a different city than where we lived.

Before he passed away, he would tell me not to be scared because everyone has to go once in a life time. As much as I did not want him to go, but when it's time, it's time.

All I had with him is my memories and a few photos. We never really had time to sit down as a family to take pictures or have videos together. Now that I realize I want those so I can see him when I miss him... it's tooo late. Too, too late.

Right when I was having anxiety attack last week... I was thinking of my dad and thinking to myself. Are there really rainbows after the rain?? And guess what happened?

There is! I took out my camera and took a picture. Instantly, an idea popped up in my head. I will use the camera he left behind and capture images that will unfold a story. With every photo I take, there is a reason behind it and since I am unable to spend time with him as I hope, these images will be taken and when shared with others, it will seem as though I am sharing the story of an image I captured with my fathers assist. It will be a world through a different set of eyes. A set of eyes I wanted to share the stories with but will now be able to through the lenses and the mentality of the heart.

<3 you always dad.

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